The Answers To Everything

Its so damn hot and sticky, reading this you are probably unwilling to imagine. So I will give your eyes an image to convey the feeling

Now that we have established that it is hot and sticky. What does this mean? What answers are hidden and derivable from such a state.

Well bullshnaks to this question. Questions I don't have time for, it's the answers that I want and you the internet reader is here for, cool, unadulterated, succulent, throat spazming answers.

So what is "Hot", as in "this hot is killing me", "the hot here sucks", "the transfer of hot has three forms", or "the hot coming from the sun is really making the sky heat".

Lets take a closer look at what hot is diagramismatically:

This is an image of Air Particulates before hot is introduced.

The Particles are moving around in a frequency that is random from the matter inside the air blobs. Remembering this is a diagram of a theoretical hotness level of ANH "Absolute Nothing Hot"

For the purposes of description and imagery we will diagramate this theoretical state. Although it should be noted that even though this state is not physically possible, it reaches close to this state in Freezers, some Penguins, Tasmania, Ice-blocks and Frozen tennis sweat.

So I imagine you’re wondering how green dots can represent air particulates. Well my dear evil skeptic, you need to realize that microscopes can see things your eyes cannot and if you were to look at air under a microscope you would see the green spots. I'm not talking about a cheap $50 microscope from Target either. I'm talking hard core Twelve Thousand dollar microscope that you need to buy from broke scientists that cannot pay the bills. And I got one, so deal.

Hotness as represented here is equal to 3 Degrees Celsius, or empirically "34 and 19/26ths of a inch past fahrenheit @ 4 feet and 36/11ths of a penny above the datum".

Lets just say not very hot.

As you can plainly see this is hot, not very hot, but about as hot as this = >

Ok now I will show how increasing (Upping) amounts of Hotness looks in our air particles. This is simply achieved by it being a bloody hot day and the appearance of more hotness particles.

This is 20 Degrees Celsius and the most common hot, a nice amount of hot to experince.

Hotness particles are essentially little sun particles. Where the sun breaks apart under it's own gigantic mass so that little (Miniscopic) suns contaminate the air and burn hot on our inner feeling tentacles

We will now witness a representation of how hot it is where I live.

WOW! This is seriously hot. You can see that the amount of sun particles here is inundating the air particles. to the point where they almost look like little pizzas. This is known as the "Giuseppe Phenomenon". A phrase coined from famous heat scientist Giuseppe Plank.

Giuseppe Plank determined that, "when hotness particles reach a threshold of considerable everywhereness to the point where one cannot almost not see any air particles, even with my really good microscope, a pizza could cook in the air for a time if allowed, without proper yeast control." - G.P. 1397

The Giuseppe Phenomenon, uses this equation

Where

pu = Pizza's Upping and FM = Air particles moving

Therefore we can derive that the amount of Pizza's upping is proportional to the squiggle symbol that represents that Pizza's = Sun Particles minus the pg0cos of Pi in seconds over two Lanterns.

One might expect this might make it too hot for humans to breathe or swim in a world that would be molten lava. As I first thought, until I realized the third line of the equation. Which is a simplex decavity function of the original theorem (the first line). Which proves;

Y pizza over the Y sun particle minus one times U of the squiggle factor, times itself without the squiggle factor or minus one, minus squiggle factor times itself with T over seconds in the Squiggle of the particle itself (K) and T representing Tequila

Equals! (Without a doubt)

EH (Everywhere hot) minus the pizza square of four particles square B tequila squared Tee-pee Tequila.

So now you understand the undeniable truth of hot. What can we do about it?

Who can we blame?

The Sun God? The Homeless? The Nazi Sympathizers? The Undead?

Ofcoursenot, we use "Technology"(tm) to alter the worlds we live in. As I have employed with the aid of this glorious little item called a "Coolbot"

This miracle invention, a device made by a god among men, transforms hot into cold as if by magic! Now, in the dark ages many things we perceive as common science today - back then were seen as evil witchcraft that would condemn a person to a ritual burning or ... sacrifice to a worshiped false idol. Not unlike today’s treatment of scientific phenomena, this reaction although logical and spectacular, prevented wizards and magic men of legitimizing their evil conjurings. This is likely a reason of the current days retardation of equatorial region populations and overabundance of reality TV shows.

It's technology like Coolbot that breaks free of traditional scare mongering and gives relief to thousands of mentally handicapped people living close to the equator.

How does this magic robot work? Well it's simple really;

Now this simple schematic may not be your cup of tea, as far as "Understanding Magic" goes, so I will try and break it down for you. Using ... The Magic of the Internet!

As you can plainly see, the infected air on the left is what we know as hotness in the air. The Coolbot actually draws in the hotness using a vacuum mechanism powered by vacuutricity. Thus being its reason for existence. Without a belly of hot molten lava and a source of more sun particles, the Coolbots are likely to turn against their masters and murder us in our sleep. I am aware this is a terrifying notion but because of the unlimited number of sun particles around us this will never happen, except in Tasmania where special attention is required

The Coolbot uses the Molten lava to create it's own vacuutricity and therefore does not need food. The heart of the unit is the actual "Magic Box" part is the miraculous feat of engineering that rivals that of anything known to man.

Using compacted Gerisam-mulitcabeitous fibers that fluoresce to the same light frequency of disposed sun particles, on a molecular level, rip the miniature sun's out of the frigid virgin air. Which are normally connected quite securely by their bisucculent bonds.

My excellent microscope gives us the ability to see such a thing, as you will see in this image

Now that you have established these answers you are now prepared to see the world, with new more open eyes. Things don't just happen, they happen with the help of magic robots..