Today was interesting.....

Captains Blog, Stardate, numbers letters numbers

Today was an interesting day, I met someone, someone so incredibly interesting it hurts my cerebellum to think about it. Yet I endure this tremendous pain to write about it for you! The reader, who wishes to know all.

So I was walking to get some survival supplies from the Army disposals and I came across this man on the street who was scratching letters into a wooden power pole. He was angry, very angry at something. I touched his shoulder, softly, like he was made of bubbles, to see if we would respond to the energies that have been given to me ever since “the accident”.

He violently gnashed his girly fingernails at me and scratched my face. It knocked the iPod headphone plugs out of my ears and I could not hear the emo teen rock I was listening to anymore. The dry bland static hiss of reality forcefully entered my mind in some descriptive poetic fashion.

Alas the man turned to look at me. He was a hideous man full of facial contempt and disdain of my presence.

The mood was chilling so chilling in fact that it affected the universe around us and it bought on an ice age. Our surroundings, now covered in snow. The man told me of a winter where he was in a similar situation and he made a snowball of anger and threatened passers by with the icy wrath of this disasterball. He showed me an image of that day, in which he kept a photo in his bag.

I asked why he was so angry because, I really cared for this stranger, I really really cared so much that it makes me weep at night, my pillow, ever-damp with tears. Now a single tear fell down my cheek in front of him

I must have struck a nerve with this man. Why? Because he reached into his bag, perhaps for a gun I first thought, but alas it was just another picture. He screamed to me “THIS IS THE DAY I WAS HAPPIEST!” and smacked the photo into my face. I picked the photo off the ground, my face throbbing from the impact














Suddenly the image washed away my pain and sadness, for it was the happiest moment, my eyes ever captured. Raptured splendour washed over me like some rusty caravan park shower water. This moment that I was experiencing had me elated and confused. I noticed from the corner of my eye, this man was creaping towards some kind of stone monster. What was this abomination he was edging towards? Some kind of sick twisted magic from the depths of the nevar realm? I decided this suprenatural occurance was too much for me, especialy since that time I think I saw a ghost at grandmothers house.

I screamed "STOP RIGHT THERE MISTER! Dont try any funny magic stuff on me I wont fall for it."















He just stood there smiling at me, mentioned, "Oh this thing is magically enclosed in a barrier of warding". Like that is supposed to mean anything. I don't trust this man anymore, i suspect his beard had somehow dissapeared, hmmm, hard to be sure.













No, there it was, as prickely as a cactus, taunting me with the individual strands of grey wisdom in which he derives his magical powers.

So, he invites me back to his place, right. Like you'd think what the hell is this stranger asking me back to his place for? Well I read in a book somewhere that gay men cannot posses powers of magic because of some kind of mana or spiritual power leakage they are subject to. Should be fine I guess.

So, I figure it's all cool, right. I mean he might try and cut me into little emo dinner snacks. But I figured he was not that type becasue of his beard.

So, I get to his place, right. And hes just sitting there, starring at me. With a stuffed dog on his leg. Just starring at me! And his beard had dissapeard!














And then his dog starts looking at me funny... Like it's waiting for me to start some trouble.

Now I'm really freaking out at this stage. This guys beard, the one thing that told me he was safe, had dissabeard and his dog was trying to mess with my vibe.

So then the dude's like, "Hey chill-out man. My beard's all good, b-cat, no need to explode the buzz we're ridin, I gots some coolidge papres with letters, pictures and numbers on em if you're crusin my jive" Finally things started making sense to me.

"Sweet" I thought to myself, this dude is just hanging out chillin wid his homies, probably smellin of bud. I approached and walked towards him to smell the bud, if indeed he be chongin any.

OH SHIT! I'd been fooled!

"Hey man it's way more comfortable with my jeans off" he tried to explain to me.

Na na na na naaaa, Fool me once, no-beard me twice. This, 'little emo that could', got out of this dudes house as quickly as a metaphor about something moving really quickly and his dog was just lying there like nothing was wrong!

Tadpoles to that dog and good riddance. That dude was messed up. No beard - big beard! Either my constant halucinations hadn't given up since "the accident" or this guy was WAY out of line.

So I'm run - ning and he ... jum - ps in fron - t of me. He ... has birds growing out of him for some ... reason. Story story story something to do with birds graft-ed to him becasue of some reaso-n with a scientist or someth-ing.

And then I was like "Dude, you'll never score that chick, she's like way out of your league dude and besides her boyfriend's right there and he wont like it. He wont like it one bit dude! I wouldn't come between those two man, they're the hotest couple on the block!"

But he just did this; gangster limp, up to this chick and cruised off with her, arm in arm. I was like "Aww Dawg! you totally ganked that dude and hes tryin to get her back"

This guy was the pimp I never knew. Perhaps he gave off this first impression to scare me away from his pimping exploits. Yeah, 'take my jeans of to be more comfortable' or some shit. Like all that magic stuff was not really magic but just a distraction, like Seigfried and Roy but less gay, like David Copperfield, or maybe not.

Anyway he got the better of me, there's some kind of deep and meaningful reason I experienced this, I'd surely need to listen to some emo teen rock to really get the meaning of it.

So dude walks off into the sunset like in some story about some stuff that was all good, but before he reaches the sunset ... he stops ... to look at me one last time ... to size me up ... to say goodbye in that manly way that has no words ... but just a look .. that man.